This is my third try at writing this post. My first was a lot of navel gazing. My second was an overkill attempt to make up for the navel gazing. Basically, I'll be honest, I'm feeling kinda crummy again. My anxiety has been up and now that I've exhausted that, I'm feeling blue again. I've been meaning to write something, but I don't want to write just for the sake of churning something out either. However writing when I'm feeling like this isn't easy because I don't want to scare folks away by being a female version of Eeyore, but it's hard for me to fake peppy all the time. I did find something though that somewhat ties into how I'm feeling.
At the Fodder Forum as I call it, there was a discussion a SAHM started. She was wondering how unfair it was that her husband who works out of the home, late hours and contributes little to her down time or family time, has signed up for gym classes. Well the discussion predictably devolved into a SAHM/WOHP debate until the moderators came in and launched virtual tear gas. As usual, extreme points on one end, extreme points on the other and some good common sense points in the middle. However I can say as a SAHM some of those extreme points did get my nose out of joint. It also got me thinking about this job and yes, I refer to it as a job. Much has been written on the topic, how hard, how thankless, how unrecognized it is, but honestly, it's not exactly making me feel better, and I suspect it's the same for a lot of SAHMs. We know it's honourable, it's thankless, it's isolating, it's unrecognized, so freaking what? I want someone to tell me it's going to be alright.
Anyhow, I'm going to tell anyone who's a SAHM and might be reading this what I want to hear and I'm hoping in sharing this, if you're feeling down about the job, this might perk you up a little.
Your kids will be potty trained! You won't be changing diapers forever.
There will be days when all the laundry is washed, folded and put away.
There will be days when you won't have to run to the grocery store.
There will be days when someone else takes care of the meals.
There will be days when all of these happen at the same time.
You won't be isolated.
You won't be ignored.
You won't eat alone.
You will be a priority.
People will learn that you are allowed to be happy that you're a SAHM, but also want something more for yourself.
People will learn that you are interesting.
Someone, people will look up to.
Someone, people will admire.
Someone, people will recognize as a person who knows more than where the homework or ketchup is.
You are beautiful.
You are special.
You will have your time in the spotlight.
At some point, you will get time to yourself, meaningful time, where you can work on meaningful things.
At some point you will be seen as valuable by others, even if you don't bring home a paycheque.
At some point you will be recognized as important.
At some point, someone will really reflect on what you do and all you have sacrificed and say thank you from that place.
Give yourself a hug, hold on, these crummy days are short and you will come out on the other end, a stronger, better woman.