Thursday, November 11, 2010

Sanity Saving

I don't know what true sanity looks like anymore. I've long forgotten civilized mornings with a quiet coffee and a newspaper. A relaxing afternoon with tea, my cross stitching and a good line up of mindless TV, or a quiet evening at home in front of a fire with a glass of wine and some quality chocolate. Mornings are now pancakes and mopping up syrup from the floor. Afternoons are endless battles of getting the kids to stay in their room for mommy quiet tim....uh, kids quiet time. And evenings are a balancing act of nutritious and kid friendly meals, PJ madness and collapsing on the couch, if I somehow make it back downstairs and not falling asleep propped up against a change table. I am however an expert in stolen moments of sanity which has become the lifeblood of this SAHM of three.

Naptime is a good example, however lately scheduling and coordinating three naps is increasingly difficult. Two big guys at school and little one occupied is another example, except I am the little one's chief toy and occupier. So how does a mom get a minute for a coffee and a blog and her sanity? Basically by letting chaos take over. By throwing chopped veggies, chicken and some starch at the big guys, slapping a fresh diaper on the baby and putting him in his bouncy chair, sloshing a coffee into the cup, drink it black, because you don't want the kids to catch on to your plot and hiding in a room, barricading the door for five minutes and cursing your computer for the 2 nanoseconds it takes to load your blog page. "HURRY UP DAMMIT! DON'T YOU REALIZE HOW LITTLE TIME WE HAVE???"

When I get out, the baby will be crying, possibly have spit up all over his bib, the boys will have destroyed the place and have gotten their dinners on the ceiling, in the duct work and up their noses. The living room will have looked like a bomb went off in it, there will be noise, like Vuvuzela noise...scratch that, Vuvuzelas have nothing on my kids. One of my big guys will have a new bump or bruise from trying to jump off the couch using a cape as a parachute and the Backyardigans on the TV will be so shocked, they'll be holed up in a cave, rocking themselves repeating "The horror!"

However I'll have emerged from my mom cave aka office, relaxed, calm and able to cope with the mess, the noise, the chaos, the anarchy and I'll be able to triage with expertise the toys scattered out like they've been hit by a hurricane, queue Adagio for Strings (music from Platoon), the boo boos, the tears, the food crammed in orifices, the therapy for the Backyardigans (I am a therapist after all....stop laughing!), all because I carved out ten minutes of sanity and let the place go to piss. To other moms ready to tear their hair out...and I literally came within a hair of taking a pair of shears to mine today, I highly recommend the run and barricade method of sanity saving. It's expensive in the monetary world of household chores and madness, but you know what? We're worth it!

3 comments:

Cecilotta said...

Wait...they don't stand outside your door and kick it and howl? MOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

That's what Mommy time looks like around here.....

Bluefunk said...

Maybe having to go grocery shopping every day is not such a bad thing after all. As long as you get to go by yourself.

Joy said...

Ceec, either you're not being sneaky enough, or your kids are just way more perceptive than my boys. *G*

Kristina, I hate crowds so I often end up doing my grocery shopping on Monday mornings. I need another excuse to get out of the house. If you receive a text saying "code red" it means I'm out and to head to the nearest Starbucks.