Monday, December 12, 2011

He's six! I need an answer book!

Ninja has been hammering me with all sorts of questions lately, questions and statements. Seems less and less he is a little boy and more and more a growing boy trying to understand the world he is in.

Starting with the basics, he's asking for a definition of every word he doesn't understand. As I stood in his martial arts studio trying to define sensitive to him and doing a poor job at it, I picked on a friend and left him to it. I do normally try to explain words, but I was floundering with this one. Anyhow, karma came to bite me in the ass with that one because on the way home I got several questions and proclamations.

First of all, he told me I was going to marry one of his martial arts instructors and he's going to help. So my 6 year old has decided to be my matchmaker.  I assured him that it was okay, I don't need his services.

"But why?"
"Why? Why? I dunno, I'm not planning on getting married for a very long time."
"Why?" Crap, seriously???
"Ummm, because Mommy is going to be busy with school."
"But Mommy, if you get married, he can help you with school, he can take care of Adele and teach us martial arts and make breakfast." Why oh why did I name my kid after a lawyer?
"Marriage is a lot of work, and Mommy is busy with you guys and school hopefully, so no, definitely no."
Thankfully he seemed to accept this.

Driving, driving, driving, listening to Christmas carols.
"Mommy, how does Jesus AND Santa exist?"
Aw Christ!
"Well, Jesus lived a long time ago and we celebrate his birthday at this time of year. Then not as long ago, a man named Kris Kringle was so moved by giving and caring, he decided to become Santa Claus"
"Yes! Magic, isn't it awesome!!!" I cannot stress how much I emphasized the magic part.
"Is Jesus magic?" Somewhere God is laughing at me.
"In a way, he is, in a way we all are." I start panicking about having to explain resurection and heaven and the like. It's 6:30, I'm tired, I'm cold, I'm hungry, I'm trying to get us home and want nothing more than a nice hot bath and hot chocolate. I'm barely capable of higher thought, let alone theological discussions that will either stick with my child his entire life, or land him on the couch of a shrink.

"I think elves are really good little boys and girls who decide to go work with Santa"
"Honey, I think that is a great theory, I like it!" I'm so glad this is the new topic. "Would you want to be an elf?"
"No, I want to stay with my family and my Ninjago, if you're an elf, you won't be able to play as much."

A couple minutes later we pull into the driveway.

"Mommy, I'm going to tell my martial arts teacher that you guys should be friends"



Jenn Gruden said...

Was it the *right* martial arts teacher? :)

My 6 year old asked me if Jesus came out of Mary' know, rhymes with err angina. Sort of.

Cecilotta said...

My 8 year old informed me excitedly that this is the best time of the year, because "we get to celebrate TWO holidays, Jesus' birthday AND Christmas!" Parenting FAIL!

Good luck with the next 12 years....

Mrs. Hardaker said...

Whenever the girls ask me deep questions like this my go to answer is a question "What do you think?" and wait for the magical answer that comes from 7 and 4 year olds.

And if you cute little matchmaker plants a magical clue in a ninja instructors head, who are we to complain. LOL

Mom2Michael said...

Yep. "I don't know, what do you think?" is the best answer I've got. Then you can follow their lead.

So long as he's picked the right instructor, it's all good

sharvey said...

so funny, cause six year old girls have all the answers!!