Sunday, September 9, 2012

Pass it on

I went out last night with my boyfriend...beau...honey. I'm having a hard time finding an appropriate word for him, boyfriend sounds so 13, beau sounds like something out of a bad novel, honey sounds way too cute, what is the appropriate terminology to use for your partner (which sounds so politically correct, there's nothing wrong with that, but it doesn't feel very intimate either) when you're an adult that doesn't make you sound like a teenager or a Harlequin? Anyhow, side rant done, we went up to a small town of his youth to listen to his cousin's band play. As usual, I got gussied up and we set off.

Now personally, I don't really believe all that hype that people from small towns are friendlier. I mean maybe they are, but when you stick out like a sore thumb as I always seem to do, I haven't received treatment much different than the anonymous living of the big city. That said, last night, folks were awesome. I received compliments from 4 different women, complete strangers about my appearance. I don't usually feel all that good about my appearance. I put a lot of effort towards it, but it's a fake it so I can make it sort of thing. It's getting better, I just have a lot of deprogramming to do. Anyhow, the compliments, they were totally out of nowhere and they were sweet and they made me feel extra good about myself. Now outside of my boyfriend, somehow compliments from men does not seem the same. I've only received one in the past year from a stranger that didn't feel like it was loaded with something else other than goodwill, I dunno, compliments from women, just carry a different meaning for me.

So I got to thinking, why don't we do that more? I mean, there are a million times a day when I notice something about another woman that I like. Her hair, her tattoos, her purse. I mean, they're superficial things, but sometimes that superficial boost can mean a bit if you're feeling a little awkward or not as super awesome as usual. And really, like giving presents, is there nothing better than to see someone made spontaneously happy? Yeah, sure, I bet some gals will think I'm a weirdo, but what harm is that to me? So I'm going to try an experiment. I'm going start paying genuine compliments to random strangers if time and space allows. See what happens? I'm sure I'll feel better if they are pleased, and I hope they will, and maybe that whole butterfly flapping their wings across the ocean, make it will be paid forward and so on and so forth. It's worth a shot.


Cecilotta said...

I love it when random women compliment me. If it's just my purse or whatever, os what, it means I'e got good taste at least :) It makes me feel a lot more like a person and a lot less like I've lost my identity in Mom-ness (not that i don't love being a Mom, but hey, I'm a person too!).

I don't get many random men commenting (understandable, that would be kind of odd) but a total hipster dude in NYC told me he loved my hair, which was kind of awesome, lol.

Deborah Coombs said...

Do it. I make a point of complimenting strangers when something strikes me. I think it's important to share a little pick-me-up