Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Wordless Wednesdays???

WTH is that? Something in blog land that has people creating posts without words??? Now that I'm starting to get a hang of this thing, I can't stop. I've never been quiet, never! It's not in my nature, it makes me ill, sick, in pain, I'm limping around like a lame horse...Okay, a little melodramatic, but I don't cope well with being quiet.

There are times where I have to be quiet. Not in the sense "The kids are sleeping and I'm on ultra silent mode so as not to make a ping on their sonar." That I'm fairly good at, after 7:30pm, in fact I crave it. It's keeping my mouth shut when I have something to say, being diplomatic, being well behaved, being, like, mature or like, something.

Recently, as in last night I've had my back up about something. Someone committed a cardinal sin in the book of Joy and messed with my family. My first reaction was to go all Michael Corleone on them, but Dearest restrained that I mean, he sat on me, as much as possible. Really, I love him, but he can be such a stick in the mud some times.

But there are many times where I have to keep my mouth shut. Dearest has some mad skills doing that, I don't know how, since I tend to shoot from the hip. Although I have to say as I get older, I am getting a little more adept at biting my tongue. That said, there are days where the Joy in College alter ego is jumping around inside the cage I've locked her in begging to be set free. She was so uncompromising, so free, she proudly wore shirts she designed "You say Bitch like it's a bad thing!" or "I like being angry". I now have a new alter ego called "Uppity Joy". I love reclaiming that word BTW. Anyhow, she's a bit more diplomatic and often reserves her rants and rage for political items...which tends to scare a lot of her more genteel friends, but since they're true friends, they put up with me.

That said, it's not always so bad being diplomatic. Especially as a parent. There are millions of times where I'd like to yell at someone who is not parenting in a way I deem fit. However humility and experience has taught me that snapshots into people's parenting careers are usually poor ways to judge the parenting. Who hasn't said something grumpy to their child in a grocery store, or carried a toddler out on their shoulder like a sack of potatoes after a long hot day at the zoo? I wouldn't want someone to look at my less than stellar moments and assume that I was a lousy parent in need of a talking to, so the Golden Rule has helped steer my diplomacy.

I've also learned too that old adage about catching more flies with honey...or an open bottle of maple syrup as the fruit flies threatning to take over my home are demonstrating. People generally are a lot more receptive to your ideas if you approach them nicely. I've done it a few times, when a nice spell comes over me, once every solar eclipse and it works! Much to my surprise!

That said though, sometimes people really need a verbal ass whooping and I can't dish it out because I have to be good. I also recognize that it will serve no good purpose other than making me feel better, a purpose I fully support by the way, but alas, I have to think of others too, the great self sacrificing me.

I guess in the end though with a healthy dose of perspective, I'm lucky. I'm a woman of colour who lives in a country where she can call the leader of said country a Doofus (he IS!) and not fear any reprecussions. Not terribly long ago, my ancestors would have been whooped for even so much as a cheeky look, let alone talking back or being uppity. I can talk back, be uppity, yell, shout, scream. I can wear...or attempt to wear my old college t-shirts (Yes I saved them!). I have a pretty good range of what I can say and what is protected and I am thankful for that, and if that means sometimes I need to bite my tongue to keep a situation uncomplicated, not judge someone or open up doors of communication, it's a small price to pay. So I don't know how well I can adhere to Wordless Wednesdays, but, I'll choose my words carefully. Deal?

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