tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5496691312677642429.post2639613369271406487..comments2014-07-30T14:43:26.285-04:00Comments on MamaJoy: Childless by Choice? Really, I don't care.Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04493868354054872996noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5496691312677642429.post-60635162789802879032010-12-28T09:02:47.246-05:002010-12-28T09:02:47.246-05:00I have no difficulty believing interrogation of an...I have no difficulty believing interrogation of another's choice to not have children happens with the frequency as that was very similar to my own experiences. I'm not saying it was a majority of people, but that the way they operated required only one in a group - decorum was abandoned with that topic and the only way to end it was for me to leave. There were enough that the odds weren't in my favor. Of course evenings free of it happened, but I was typically surprised by that fact.<br /><br />There is a soft spot in my heart for NoKidding!. When it existed years ago, I was a member of the Delaware Water Gap chapter, which was in the PA/NJ area. I drove hours to the meetings because being able to have conversation in which I knew that wouldn't happen was simply invaluable to me. There is a chapter of NK! where I live now, but I'm not involved as here that issue is gone.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5496691312677642429.post-88987645978757682952010-12-26T17:51:52.155-05:002010-12-26T17:51:52.155-05:00I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I do...I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I do have a hard time believing it happens in the large doses that folks are saying. That said, please keep in mind this is a personal blog about personal experiences and personal opinions. Is there bias? Sure! Take it for what it's worth. Also keep in mind that I am commenting on an article, that context is pretty important. One the author in technorati seemed to leave out. No hard feelings though, it did generate a lot of traffic. :) <br /><br />I'm also trying to put some perspective into people's day from the POV of a parent. Exactly what is in control and out of control when it comes to the pint sized set. <br /><br />As for Anonymous, I'm not sure what blog you're reading because I didn't really make any of the points you're on about. I have three kids, I'm sleep deprived and running on empty, so I confuse easily. Help a gal out!Joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04493868354054872996noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5496691312677642429.post-84826856609235618282010-12-23T23:42:38.341-05:002010-12-23T23:42:38.341-05:00Funny how experiences can differ. I have had a rat...Funny how experiences can differ. I have had a rather nasty person suggest I divorce my wife "and find some young chickie" to have my babies. This was some very rude individual who I had just met.<br /><br />As for that lame old saw about "who will be wiping my ass when I'm old" well I am a nurse and paramedic. Guess who is wiping the ass of so many elderly people abandoned by their children in nursing homes right now? Yup that would be me. I am currently in Emergency Room nursing and also in Emergency Medical Services. This is also the time of year - in my experience - when families tend to dump off grandma and grandpa in the ER and do their level best to get them admitted so they aren't around to be needy for the holidays. I've seen this cruel practice far to often. Yes kids sure do take care of you when you are old.<br /><br />In regards to you were a kid once. Yes and we were trained and educated how to act in public before we were taken out. And we were exposed gradually, not hauled out to the wee hours of the morning tired or not. I've been on EMS calls for kids that were injured due to natural fatigue at well past midnight because the parents did not want to take them home. I've also been the calls and seen in the ER kids injured and burned from being uncontrolled in restaurants and bars. I am sorry - I don't care what hipster parents think. Children do not ever belong in bars. I've worn home the blood.<br /><br />Just because you haven't seen it does not mean it doesn't happen. Neither side can claim sainthood here, but to be condescending and dismissive hardly leads to understanding.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5496691312677642429.post-49677031521297337382010-12-18T15:53:52.524-05:002010-12-18T15:53:52.524-05:00I can say I have personally experienced significan...I can say I have personally experienced significant criticism for my (and my spouse's) choice to be childfree. It largely seemed to be persons who, for reasons I still do not understand, viewed my choice as inherently a criticism of their own.<br /><br />It has not happened since I moved to the Research Triangle area. This does fit with a theory that it seems to be more common in less the less urban areas. Since moving I have never been asked, "how many children do you [plan to] have?" while I was asked that multiple times when I lived in the Scranton area, not infrequently by someone who was a stranger I had just met moments earlier. For the record, this was the way any discussion of my choice ever began; it was not something I ever volunteered without being directly asked.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5496691312677642429.post-60711696272850643472010-12-18T14:26:22.686-05:002010-12-18T14:26:22.686-05:00Here, here!Here, here!Jenn Grudenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01055992943285063060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5496691312677642429.post-39236515741925905192010-12-18T11:55:32.104-05:002010-12-18T11:55:32.104-05:00Thank you Joy. As a parent who raised four boys, I...Thank you Joy. As a parent who raised four boys, I can remember a couple of temper tantrums - but at least one of them was deliberate to see what I would do. And he found out, and never tried it again.<br /><br />I didn't read the "Childless by Choice" article since I haven't seen the Star (better go read it), but I can say I'm glad this person didn't have kids - some people absolutely shouldn't have children.<br /><br />There are at least two families in my current congregation who are NOT childless by choice. They have adopted and have all the same issues to deal with that biological parents do - including meltdowns. They have children by choice, knowing what they are taking on, and willing to do it.frannyharphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12695350646911605412noreply@blogger.com